I think I won the penis lottery.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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