Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We had to coat check the pizza.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
