omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
