On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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