I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
