hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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