this boner is exhausting
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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