Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
