I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize