It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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