Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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