he thought i was a dude.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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