Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
