HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
