You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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