i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
