Soap is not a condiment
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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