the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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