A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize