Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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