whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so let's talk penis.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
