so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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