that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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