so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
