all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
