And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
