she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Blood and glitter go together right?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize