Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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