I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
