i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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