He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
