We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
