no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
