It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize