dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
