Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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