i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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