dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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