community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize