never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
