Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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