my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
