I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
