I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
