office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
