a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
