He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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