Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
