YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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