You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
