his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize