Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
