the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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