can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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