I cockslap morals
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
false alarm, still single
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