There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
