That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
