i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
