the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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