Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You pole danced in your parka.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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