Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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