Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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