I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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