hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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