Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
